Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
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walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
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I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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