I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
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