Redeem this text for a blowjob
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
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