So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
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