i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Randomize
