yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
