you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
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his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
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I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
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