haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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