idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
