He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
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The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
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After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
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