Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
