I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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