Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
