I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize