i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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