Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
