He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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