Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
