hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
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