We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Randomize