update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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