I'm so fucking centered right now
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
