Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
