Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
