So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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