You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Randomize
