Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
