OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
