I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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