Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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