I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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