Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
