I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
