i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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