is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
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