How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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