I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
