She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Randomize
