that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
