I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
