Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
