Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
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