Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
