ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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