I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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