Nicole vs. Life
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
