Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
