Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
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I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
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My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
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