We're like a lot better than the average bears
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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