Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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