so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
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