I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
