Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
She announced her abortion via fbk
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
