community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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