Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Randomize
