I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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