i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Randomize
