This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
