Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
