im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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