I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
